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I really need to find something else to do other than be on the computer. My hand, wrist, and forearm are killing me from using the mouse pad for so long. I think it's time to admit that I'm addicted to the internet. I used to have an imagination. I wonder if it's still in there somewhere, buried under all the crap that prevents its use. I'm going to try to only use my laptop for an hour tomorrow. I think I really need a break from it. I don't know what else I'll do, but I'm sure I can find something.

I wish our public library were better. I wanted to read some quality literature, but I have a feeling I'm going to have a difficult time finding it. Perhaps I can loan from other people or something, because Lord knows I don't have the budgit to buy books regularly. Speaking of books, I need to sell my textbooks from this last semester. That means I need to find someone who knows how to use E-bay and such. That probably shouldn't be too hard, but you never know.

This summer, although I'm not vacationing, I'm embarking on a journey, so to speak. Mom and I are going to try and trace our Native American heritage to see if I could get some scholarship money for it. If I have enough of a percentage of my heritage, I could get substantial aid for college. I'm kind of excited about that, although chances are that the percentage is too small. It's worth a try though.

I'll be starting to work at the Lake tomorrow. Technically tomorrow is only orientation, but I'm getting paid for it and I jump right into work the next day so I figure it's close enough. There are new uniform shirts this year. Instead of being cotton, they're some sort of poly-blend that breaths better. I could care less whether the material will keep me cooler or not because I get to work in a climate-controled environment, but I must admit that I'm pleased that there's a women's cut to purchase instead of everyone just being in the men's shirts. Uniforms can never be stylish, but at least these will fit a bit better than the old ones. I'm really looking forward to starting work. I'll be able to get out of the damn house and I'll be getting money. Yay! Money makes me very happy.

It's really warm in here right now. I'm kind of dying. Perhaps I should suggest that we turn on the fan. Haha. I'll be getting up to go upstairs pretty soon anyway, so I'm not going to bother. I think I'm going to go now. Later.
Current Location:
Recliner
Current Mood:
tired tired
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I love making up subject lines. The rarely have anything to do with what I'm typing, but some of them make me feel down-right witty. Haha. There are times when I imagine my sister dislikes me as much as she dislikes the rest of this family, like I see her as an ally but she sees me like an enemy, or worse - a "frienemy". Or maybe I'm just extremely paranoid that people don't like me. I like to imagine that everyone finds me to be a winning person with irresistible charms. I doubt that's how I ever come off, but let me be deluded, ok?

I start work later this week. I don't know whether I'm happy about that or not. It'll mean more fights because we have to figure out cars and such. On the other hand, I'll be out of the house more so I will probably get to avoid some of those unpleasant arguments. But the shirts for the park this year are cranberry. I'm not sure how I feel about wearing cranberry.

My writing professor from last semester e-mailed me saying he wanted to send in one of my essays for the Year of the City anthology of student essays. I guess it's an honor, but since I'm not exactly sure what this anthology is, I can't say for certain. Well, at least I know he thinks highly of me. This is the second time that he's encouraged me directly to take another writing course. I'm not sure I really want to deal with writing any more than I have to. Every single essay I write, whether I'm happy with it in the end or not, is absolutely painful for me to drag out of myself. It's like trying to pull teeth. Even if I'm half as good as my professor has implied, do I really want to put myself through that? I'm thinking no. Ah, well...good effort on his part but I refuse.

And now, I think it's time to facebook stalk and then go to bed. Haha. Facebook is my informant on all gossip and it's starting to get ridiculous. Later.
Current Location:
Couch
Current Mood:
blah blah
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Today feels like a decent day. I didn't do much, but that's alright. I did work out this morning and I did a little laundry. Plus, Holly's home today and we're going to go meet up with some ECSU friends of hers that I've met before. It'll be an adventure. Right now I'm watching That 70's Show. I've seen this episode before and it's actually pretty funny.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I can't wait until I start work. It'll give me something to do besides hang around the house and watch T.V. all day. Plus, then I'll have money so that when I'm not working, I can do stuff other than sit at home an watch t.v.

Ok, I've got to get readyto go out with Holly. Later.

Current Location:
Couch
Current Mood:
happy happy
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Nothing scintilating happened today. It was kind of nice and peaceful. I unpacked a little bit, but not enough. Haha...oh well. I suppose I'll just do some more tomorrow. I have to buy new shirts for work. I'm kind of pissed. LC decided on new shirts so I now have to spend 21 dollars on three more polos that I will never wear anywhere but work. It's not a great expense in the long run, but that money could still have been used otherwise. I really have to pee. I'm too lazy to get up right now.

I went with my mom to my aunt's for a nice dinner and then mom got a piano lesson while I read. It was very pleasant. Apparently another one of my cousins is going to be getting married. We don't know when but we do know that they are in search of a place to hold it, so probably sometime in the next year or so. It's crazy. But then again, all the cousins that are getting married are at least 7 years older than me. It'll only be really crazy when cousins my age, or friends start getting married. We're barely adults. Haha. I suppose that that really doesn't matter if you're "in love" but is there even such a thing any more? I'm such a cynic. This is probably why I don't have a boyfriend. Or maybe I'm a cynic BECAUSE I don't have a boyfriend. Wow...that looks like the beginning of a vicious cycle that would be a psychotherapist's wet dream. Haha. Yeah, I think I'm gonna stop there. Later.
Current Location:
Recliner
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
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I'm home. Finally. Now what?

It's very bizarre because I'm basically a transient for the next 3-4 years of my life. Every few months I'll be moving from here to MD or back. I don't know whether I should think of it as having two homes or having no home. I think I feel more like the second one. Still, it's good to be back here...I just wish my friends were home too. I'm the earliest to arrive back. I think Kaylyn gets back tomorrow and Kelli's home this coming weekend. I keep forgetting that it's only May. It feels like it should be later since I'm usually not out of school by now.

I'm sure there's much more I could write about, but I really don't feel like it and I sort of have to pee. Later.

Current Location:
Recliner
Current Mood:
restless restless
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So, I'm in the Hammerman computer lounge, waiting for another computer to reboot in hopes that the usb port I have will work with it when it restarts. If it does not, I have no way to print the assignments I have due at my 9 a.m. final. Awesome. Did I mention that it's almost 3:30 in the morning so no matter what, I'm gonna be sleep deprived. This is oh so very exciting for me. I really wish I could scream swears right now but that would be completely inappropriate. GAHH!!! The computer is not rebooting!!!! God, I'm so screwed. I'm about ready to cry right now! Well, I'm gonna try and figure it out. Wish me tons of luck.
Current Mood:
frustrated frustrated
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This is what I wanted to post yesterday, right about the time my internet died:
I got very sick this weekend. It sucked. I didn't really eat for two days. I'm pretty much recovered now, although my appetite is still not completely back (that's at least one thing to be thankful for). I'm tired, but I'm not. It's very vicious really. My body's ready to crash but my mind, which, by the way is in charge of letting me sleep, is running a mile a minute. Why? Because I have to be in control and at the moment I'm not really in control. It's not a good feeling. I was trying to take control of a situation, so I asked a question that I thought would just settle it all...of course I was not lucky enough to get the response I expected. The situation is entirely more complicated now and I feel like I can't control it. I could have controlled it by just not speaking to him, but NO, of course NOT...I just had to know more for my well-being. Take my advice, walk away and above all, do NOT look back. That's all. Later.

I really don't feel like I have much to say today that's new. My head is killing me and I'm kind of tired and more than just a little bored, but it's too early to go to bed. I'm excited for this weekend though. I'm going with a group of friends to stay at Sara's house and go to a drive-in movie theater in the area. We're going to get to see three movies for the price of one, so there's really nothing to complain about. Well, other than that and the freakish fact that everyone else has a ton of work and my workload seems reasonable again (I'm really not complaining, it's just extremely bizarre) I don't have much else to share. Later
Current Location:
Desk
Current Mood:
tired tired
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I sort of feel like I'm drowning in assignments...I'm really not. I have assignments that I cannot will myself to do until the last possible minute so now it's a mad scramble to get it all done. Crap! I knew procrastination would slowly kill my spirit. Haha. I was actually pretty productive today. I e-mailed a kid about an interview, I read the story I need to write about for Friday, I did some research on a paper, and I read about half of the sections I need to for my 4:30 class tomorrow. It's the most I've done in a while. I'm hoping this little burst continues, at least until Saturday. It would be most helpful and could even possibly help me get ahead.

I like today. It was fun. Even macro wasn't as excruciating as usual. Haha...now that's saying something. I think I may actually be able to survive the semester with my GPA intact, despite my lack of motivation and recent screw-ups. I amaze myself sometimes. I'm probably jinxed now, but oh well. I'll knock on wood just to be safe. *knock knock knock* Ah, what a superstitious being I am! Well, that's about it for now. On to web sudoku, and, if I'm ambitious, another section in my reading! Later.
Current Location:
Desk
Current Mood:
pleased pleased
Current Music:
Nuclear by Ryan Adams
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Here I am, back on campus. It took forever to get here last night. I got in from my flight at 9:30, got my luggage and went over to supershuttle. I only had to wait about five minutes, but we had a full van. I was the second-to-last to be dropped off. Needless to say, I wasn't back on campus until almost 11. Yeah, that was fun.

There are only 26 days until I return home for the summer. Isn't that absolutely insane? I'm excited and at the same time really nervous. I don't have much time until the end of the semester and there's still so much to do for classes. UGH!!! Oh well, I suppose I'll manage...it'll just be painful because I'll prcrastinate like I always do. Haha. Alright, I need to do some research. Later.

Current Mood:
rushed rushed
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So, I had an appointment with an orthopedic doctor today about my ankle. He's kind of puzzled about it so he gave me an injection of steroids to see if that would help because it could be tendonitis. If that doesn't work, then the bones of my ankle will need to be injected with some sort of dye and tests will be run...probably yielding nothing. So please pray that this works.

I also went to Heather & Michael's today to stuff plastic eggs for the easter egg hunt we hold at the church on Sunday after the 10 a.m. service. It was a lot of fun, especially trying to match the egg bottoms and tops together. Haha. But at least the company was good. I then came home and watched Man of the Year. Now I'm here, seriously considering going to bed. I think I may do that. Later.

Current Location:
Couch
Current Mood:
content content
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